Everyone’s got his or her own way to keep their cool during the summer. Maybe you take cold showers with your boyfriend, hop the fence for a swim in your neighbor’s pool, or tuck yourself into your freezer. My favorite way to cool off is to with fatty, icy snacks. The only problem: there are so many frozen treats to chose from. Which is your favorite, and what does it say about you?
If you like ice cream sandwiches... You have impeccable taste! You know that layers of cookies and vanilla ice cream go above and beyond when it comes to satisfaction. I can picture you twenty years from now wearing a tweed jacket as you drive a Porsche up to your ski home, where you will drink the finest wines, smoke the most foreign cigars, and keep company with a model from Lake Como, Italy. You’ll basically be like George Clooney, only better. (This is just what I like to picture for myself...)
If you like ice cream... You're classic and beautiful. Less is more. Never change.
If you like frozen bananas... You may be a close descendant of a special species of monkey that procreated in your area during the swinging ‘70s. Don’t worry, it was a crazy time then, and there are plenty of other humonkeys (half-human-half-monkey things) in the neighborhood. Feel free to snack on a frozen banana with chocolate on top, but if you find yourself picking bugs out of your friends' hair or swinging on trees, you should talk to a professional.
If you like popsicles with jokes on the stick... You are six years old, and I love you. Nothing says summer like sticky orange (because that's was usually my favorite flavor) fingers holding popsicle sticks trying to read the joke. I especially love them because the jokes are so corny, and they're basically the only kind of joke I easily get and laugh at correctly, such as: "what did one tomato say to the other as they were rolling down the hill?" "Go ahead. I'll ketchup!" Brilliant!
If you eat frozen cookie dough balls... You are a true innovator. While most people would just go out to the store and buy chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, you take initiative and build an amazing product with your own two hands. This is my go-to option when I'm having a crappy day. Frozen cookie dough balls = success + joy + love + happiness
If you like ice cubes... You are skinny and look great in jorts. I seriously hate you and want to be just like you, only surrounded by more food. But seriously, it wouldn’t kill you to eat an ice cream sandwich or ten.
If you like homemade smoothies/frozen yogurt...*You also like yoga, granola, and wearing gauchos. You are a little hippy, and I love that flower you’re wearing in your hair. It looks so nice when you go out and protest animal rights, and makes you seem less intimidating. After you do PETA stuff, will you come over and teach me how to be healthy? *This is everything I try to be... haha right K?
I know there are about 600 other frozen treats. Feel free to list your favorite below and talk about what makes it so COOL.