Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Hookup checklist

I had an ex-boyfriend guy friend come into town this week. 

Back story: We meet this summer and had an amazing 2 months.  As soon as I got a job in DC he got a job in another state… I liked the idea of the relationship ending on a high note.
During the past 5 months we have kept in contact.  
Meaning = I would occasionally leave a 4 min drunk voice-mail and we would text on and off.
He has a brother who lives in DC –I did not know this when I started “seeing” him- and this week he is staying with him.  

We decided to meet up last night.

I couldn’t believe the amount of work I put in for this potential hookup.

To start with my shopping list:
- Laundry detergent: I would have to wash my sheets
- A candle: I felt like my room was musky. I didn’t need a guy judging my musky room.
- razors
- lotion: it is winter and I have dry skin
- Dayquil: I was getting a cold.  The last thing I needed was this boy hearing my cold snoring.
- Condoms: the new and improved Circa 2011 K has condoms.  Mostly thanks to this article from yourtango -safe sex etiquette for singles-  (this was actually my first time buying condoms and I was actually shocked about how anti-climatic it was. I was expecting the 16 yr old cashier to judge me.)

My night of preparation:
- cleaning my room: I did take a before and after pic to post... but I am way to embarrassed to show you what my room actually looked like.
- laundry: which took forever thanks to the fact that I live in an apartment complex where half of the machines don’t work.
- homemade facial
- plucking
- bleaching
- moisturizing
- cleaning my bathroom

The morning of:
- getting up 35 minutes before I would normally get up
- shaving my legs
- moisturizing
- actually doing my hair: product, curls, and everything
- picking out a “cute, but work appropriateoutfit
- making my bed
- taking out my trash

The night of:
Awkwardly brushed my teeth in my work bathroom, re-applied make-up, he meet me at work, we went and got Mexican, ice cream, rented a movie, cuddled on the couch, made-out a little, I told him he could spend the night, made-out a little more, and went to bed.

The next morning: Woke up way to early, made-out some more, showered, made-out a lot more, debated calling in, realized I was running late, made-out some more, quickly pulled back my hair, straightened my bangs (where he made fun of me… but also pointed out that “I was already pretty and didn’t need to do the extra work.” Yeah, it was cute), walked to the bus, had a kiss goodbye.... 

Conclusion:  I probably didn’t have to do half of this stuff.  And I especially didn’t have to buy the condoms, but they will come in handy someday…. At least they are good for the next 4 more years


-K

3 comments:

  1. I'm glad I'm not the only one that spends a ridiculous amount of time in preparation for hooking up! It's like a second job haha

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  2. You girls have so much will power... if I shower before a date they are lucky, and I never shave my legs unless I want to. If they like me enough to put up with my every other day shower routine and my inability to shave my legs even that often, then they have earned a place between my legs... I mean in my heart. Woops.

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  3. omg! Denise! How can you not shower before a hookup? I would be totally neurotic the whole time thinking they were thinking how bad I smelled or something. More power to you girl. J-I'm with you. It takes forever. Dating is exhausting. K- so you didn't sleep with him after all that? And if so why not? Just not feeling it? Its nice that you have someone who even though a relationship doesn't make sense treats you well (i.e. says nice things) and you guys can just hang and be comfortable with each other and have fun. Cheers to that, T.

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